I am online dating.

I know! Get. Out!

It’s really fun, though! I can’t believe I resisted this for so long. I’ve been in the online datisphere for 24 hours, and I’ve been “winked” at (whatever that is) like, 400 times*, and I’m on the cusp of at least two dates! In just one day! As it turns out, I am adorable online!

Online dating combines two of my favorite things: online shopping and FLIRTING!! It’s pretty awesome. It’s all the glory of cruising the bar scene without the treacherous beer goggles (unless you log in when you get home from the bars, which could take the whole thing to an entirely different level)! Think about it. Online dating is like shopping a website for that perfect top. It may finally be delivered and not fit, but throughout the whole process, it’s building you up, telling you how fun you are and reinforcing how attractive it thinks you are. I’ve never had a top do that much for me!

Now, all we can hope is that the actual dates don’t get in the way of all the fun, right?!

The whole thing is wildly funny! The particular service I’m using, which is not the one that asks 1,000 questions to confirm your compatibility with someone—that seemed intense—sends you a few “matches” every day. The things it matches you on are hysterical. “You both enjoy wine!” “He is also a non-smoker!” “You share a birth month!” as if these are things on which an entire relationship can be built. Can you imagine walking up to someone in a bar and saying something like, “I see you’re drinking wine. I like wine. Oh! And you don’t smoke?! We should go out! You’re exactly who I want to marry one day!”

The flirting is the best, though. I enjoy any opportunity to flex my wit, and if someone can keep up with me, or at least appreciate my humor and bat a few jokes back at me, what fun! I had one guy burst out laughing so hard at one of my emails that his coworkers had to know what was wrong with him. My effect makes guys their office spectacle, and I LOVE it! Such power!

One guy told me that because of my love of baseball and Mexican food, I was perfect! Don’t worry; I was quick to agree with him! I’ve even already been offered to go to a concert in Chile! (I’m pretty sure I will NOT be doing that. Let’s remember my fear of being stolen. Going to a foreign country with a stranger seems like a good recipe for not coming home.)

In sum, this whole online dating thing is a lot of fun. Let’s remember, though, that I have not yet been on any of the actual dates. This whole thing may eventually come down to some more great bad date stories for this blog, and if that’s the case, I will live it up so I have something with which to entertain you, my loyal readers! Regardless, it’s going to be good, whether it ends in a fruitful, loving relationship or a crazy-successful, overflowing-with-content blog!


* - Ok, a slight exaggeration. It’s more like 120.