Facing down 32, and it’s on!

I’m going to be 32 in February. Thirty-two. Yikes. To paraphrase the great oracle Jessica Simpson, 32 is almost 33, which is almost 35, which is almost mid-thirties. Hell, in my calculations, it’s pretty much almost 50!

It’s time to take control and be a grown-up, so I’ve made a life decision—you know, like grown-ups do. Here it is: I will become engaged while I am 32. There. It’s out there! It’s happening. Now, let’s get busy making it so.

I’ve written about various plans and schemes I’ve concocted to attract worthy suitors, but those were so ideas for my twenties. It’s serious now! This is for real. It’s time to pull out the big guns! So… Now, we just have to identify what those big guns might be…

I enlisted my friends to help. And, within a minute of announcing my big resolution for my impending nuptials, they all swore their assistance and then decided I will write a book and go on a big book tour. I think that plan has some kinks to work out; for instance, what the heck would I write a book about? And, of course anything I would possibly write would be completely nonsensical and fall into the broad category of chick lit.

Now, I haven’t actually been to a whole lot of book signings for chick lit books, but I’m pretty sure they aren’t swarming with eligible bachelors. Thanks, girls, but while that might be a fun idea, let’s focus on the task at hand!

Putting a pin in the book tour, I’ve instead made several happy hour plans—you know, at bars, where guys are proven to gather in hordes. I’m also building my events calendar for the year, trying to attend every interesting gala (I know what you’re thinking, but really, isn’t the guy I’m going to end up with also going to like dressing up and going to big, fancy events? I sure hope so.), all sorts of sporting events and any number of other fun gatherings. By the time I’m 33, I’m going to be either engaged or bankrupt, come hell or high water!

Stay tuned for updates on how this endeavor goes. We’ve got 13½ months to lock in a ring. Game on.