The four-fold benefits of the Sports Illustrated subscription

I have been a longtime Sports Illustrated subscriber, and not because I’m a die-hard sports fanatic. A Sports Illustrated subscription can be a dangerous weapon in a single girl’s arsenal. The benefits are four-fold. Let me share with you what they are:

First Fold
If you read SI, you can drop into conversation all your newfound sports knowledge; boys will love it and will ask you out.

Second Fold
You can drop into conversation that you have an SI subscription, which boys will love and be impressed by and will then ask you out.

Third Fold
If you read your Sports Illustrated on the metro, boys will see you, will love it and will ask you out!

Fourth Fold
When you’re not actually reading your Sports Illustrated, you can fold it carefully so it is unmistakable what the magazine is and place it in your bag, strategically sticking out the top so people can see that it is Sports Illustrated. Boys will love it and will ask you out.

Trust me, this is a GENIUS plan!

Now, I’m still waiting for the payoff, but this plan is so brilliant it’s bound to work! Any day now…