I was on a date recently for drinks and dinner. We got drinks and were moving on to the dinner portion of the evening, discussing where we were planning on going. He suggested a Thai restaurant I was interested in trying because the restaurant looked cool, despite my mild aversion to Thai food. One time I had a salad at a Thai restaurant that was so spicy it made my head hurt! What is the appeal in that?!
Allow me to share with you the narrative from that conversation. It will be like you were there!
Thai Food Lover (obviously not me): How about Thai food?
Me: That sounds good. I don’t LOVE Thai food, but I’m not a picky eater. I’m sure it will be great!
TFL: What is it that you don’t like about Thai food?
Me: I don’t like peanut sauce. But I also had a Thai salad one time that was so spicy it made my head hurt. I didn’t really love that.
TFL: Ok, so keep it mild. You just don’t like peanuts?
Me: Oh no, I love peanuts, just not peanut sauce.
TFL (now reviewing the menu and sweetly trying to find something I might like): Ok, how about this dish? It has peanuts but not peanut sauce. And, you can order it mild or spicy.
Me: Hmm… Yeah, I love peanuts, but not actually peanuts IN things.
TFL: Ok, how about these stuffed tomatoes?
Me: Oh no. I don’t really like any cooked fruit, including tomatoes.
TFL: Ok, stuffed mushrooms?
Me: I love mushroom flavor, just not actual mushrooms.
TFL: How about this shrimp dish?
Me: Oh no. The only seafood I like is tuna fish but only if it’s mixed with Miracle Whip and pickles.
Me (again): Oh yeah, I know that sounds weird.
Me (again): Well, I don’t think it really warrants that sort of appalled face.
TFL: Ok… Well, that knocks out this whole section of the menu… Are you sure there’s something on the menu that you’ll eat?
Me: Oh yeah! Nothing to worry about! This chicken fried rice looks delicious.
TFL: Uh, ok. Good, I guess? Adventurous.
Waitress: What can I get you guys?
Me: I’ll have the fried rice with chicken please. But, could I get that with no egg?
TFL: YOU DON’T LIKE EGGS EITHER!??!?!
I think everyone in the restaurant could see the tremendous amount of restraint it took for him to not throw his menu at me. He also ordered a lot to drink. I’m pretty sure that’s because he’s an alcoholic and not because he needed it to cope with me. Yeah, I’m pretty sure of it.
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I can picture it now...:)
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