Wait, WHO do I look like?!

You can find anything on the internet. For instance, have you ever wondered what celebrity you most resemble? There’s a website for that, probably a few. Warning: the results could be startling.

A little while ago, when I was younger—fewer wrinkles, less affected by gravity, as yet oblivious to the shock of finding a gray hair, so, you know, probably like a year or so ago (how dramatic is the change from 29 to 30 and then to 31?!?! SHEESH!)—I put my picture into one of those websites. Now, of course I had some expectations for what I’d get back. Obviously, I look a lot like Eva Longoria.

When one embarks on such an endeavor as associating her appearance with a celebrity, one aims high. I was hoping for, perhaps, a Kate Beckinsdale, Demi Moore post-surgery, maybe Megan Fox. No? You don’t think I could look like Megan Fox?

People have told me before that I looked like Mini Driver. That seems like a compliment when you picture her in some of her more recent stuff or during her Will & Grace period, even in Good Will Hunting. I’m pretty sure, though, that they were referring to her slightly-less-svelte, Circle of Friends days. I know. I have dark hair, freckles and chipmunk cheeks, but that just seems less than flattering!

This website I’ve purposely blocked from any ability to remember did not pick any of those lovely ladies as my luminary counterpart. Not even Mini Driver at any point in her history. Apparently, I look like none other than Hilary Clinton.

Hilary Clinton! Hilary! Clinton!! Regardless of your political feelings about her, there are several qualities a young woman can admire in Hilary Clinton: her strength, her power, her political acumen, her success… Her looks, and the only relevant characteristic here, are not among her attributes I aspire to! Who sits around and says, “Mmm… That Hilary Clinton is HOT,” or “Hilary is my beauty icon!”

So, naturally, I went out, bought a TON of make-up and other beauty products, amped up my beauty routine and got to work transforming myself. I’m pretty sure I’m almost there. Kate Beckinsdale, here I come!