I'm baaaaaack!

Have you missed me?

I’ve been out, going on dates, dating someone who epitomizes the word “jerk” (and so many other words that would not be ladylike to type), watching all my friends settle down and all the while accumulating stories. I’m back, though! I’d like to tell you that I’m picking the blog back up because I’ve got a burning desire to regale you with my stories or because I feel I’ve let you down with this gap in mindlessly entertaining life drama. However, I have to share that I’m taking to the web again for a no less worthy cause than to fulfill my destiny!

In addition to being prone towards the dramatic, I’m very lucky to have especially wise friends—when their wisdom is in my best interest or I agree with them. Otherwise, of course, they’re just regular friends. Wait, considering the only real readers of my blog are my friends, maybe I should suck up a little more; after all, I can’t risk alienating my base, as they say in politics! Let’s try this again.

I’ve got gorgeous, intelligent, skinny, magical friends who are full of the most profound wisdom, and I’m more than lucky to have them in my life.

The most recent piece of astuteness to come from my great gaggle of girlfriends was a little insight into my life’s purpose—see? They are wise to have ascertained my life’s purpose! The universe, apparently, has big plans for me. As my friend said, (and who am I to argue with flattery?! A lady, especially one more than slightly self-absorbed, never turns down a compliment!) I have been blessed with a gift for writing. (Her words, so don’t take it up with me if you disagree—oh, and if that’s the case, you’re welcome to STOP READING! Jerk.) So, God/the universe/whoever maps out people’s fate has delivered to me a string of bad or otherwise humorous dates so that I may extricate the good stories from the pain and amuse people with them! According to my friend, I will not find the love of my life until I’ve written a book or gone viral online with my “special gift.”

Never one to tempt fate, I am rising to my destiny and will recommit myself to keeping the steady stream of stories coming—and boy do I have content to share! Get ready.