I can't believe my friends convinced me to post this story. If you want to know what it's like to be a single girl looking for her prince charming, this is a pretty classic anecdote, I suppose, in all it's vulgarity...
I had a date a week or so ago with a guy who was confused and had trouble distinguishing me from one of his crude, back-slapping drinking buddies and the tequileria we were in from a hole-in-the-wall, light-beer-slinging, peanuts-on-the-floor crap shack. It’s the only excuse for his language in the presence of such an elegant lady!
In our various pre-date correspondences, I had alluded to the accumulation of entertaining bad date stories I’d been collecting. So, he tried to compete. This blog is a small taste of the ammunition I’m packing when it comes to bad date comparisons, so you, my loyal readers, know that one needs to come big if he’s going to try to one-up me on dating stories. He had one story in particular that could have made it, but presentation is everything. And in that, he failed big time.
On a second date with a girl he met online, this guy was taking her hiking. I admired his effort to make it an interesting date. On the drive over to the trail, his date said to him, “I like you and could see this going somewhere maybe, so I should tell you something.” That seems presumptuous on a second date, but maybe I could learn something from being a little more forthcoming on a date. Or maybe not…
She continued with, “I just got out of a relationship.” My date then said that he had said to her, “That’s cool, so did I.” That wasn’t the end, though. She had apparently just gotten out of a long-term relationship with a woman.
Now, I saw that ending to the story coming a mile before we got there, but this guy wasn’t finished with the seemingly obvious proclamations. In case I wasn’t sure by virtue of his asking me out, he went on to say, and I repeat this verbatim, “I mean, I’m cool with whatever people may be into, gay, lesbian, straight, whatever. But, I like P**SY!!”
Are you freaking kidding me?! Where do I find these people? Thanks, “sir.” That was completely unnecessary and, oh yeah, even irrelevant to the story! So, there you go, buddy. You and your date had something in common. Please don’t ever call me again.
There have to be some genuinely nice, appropriate, good guys out there somewhere, right? Right?
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I feel like you kind of asked for it :-)
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