One small speech can become very big—just wait

I’ve been invited to present a social media training at a conference this week in Puerto Rico. Obviously, I’m a pretty big deal.

I’d like to say that the conference organizers heard about this blog and were in awe of my social media prowess demonstrated by my engrossing blogging and tweeting, but alas, I do this social media stuff for a living. So, it was through my use of social media and my counseling of others in using social media to accomplish public policy goals that I was invited. Oh, and someone else canceled.

Nonetheless, I’ve spent hours developing the most kick-ass “How to do social media, and how to do it to advance advocacy efforts” presentation that these people will have ever seen! It’s going to be brilliant. It really is only a matter of time before I become a regular on the conference circuit. Maybe I should start developing what I would say in a keynote address, since we’re probably minutes from when those invitations start piling up. Move over Carly Fiorina with your household name and inspiring stories of climbing to the top of a business empire. Kristin Brown’s here, and she writes a nonsensical, irreverent (and mostly irrelevant) blog that a handful of people read.

Hmm… So, what will I say in my keynote? What are some of my more inspirational stories to constitute my speech?

Perhaps I could talk about important life lessons I’ve learned: cool it on weird ways to ingest caffeine. Don’t be surprised when you pick up a guy at the theater and find that he may be closeted gay. Looks don’t matter. Or, maybe I could anchor the speech on the times I’ve been shamed into learning to cook for myself.

Of course, part of the speech will have to center on the ever-important characteristic of resourcefulness in achieving great personal success. I could provide sage advice: don’t be afraid to create cockamamie schemes to get what you want; sometimes genius isn’t realized immediately. Let people call you crazy along your path to fulfilling your own destiny (especially if you thoroughly amuse yourself). Surround yourself with smart people. Bring anyone along on the ride who wants to go! Aspire to greatness. Dream big. Don't sweat the small stuff. Let yourself explore. Have a plan. Fight against obstacles.

I’ve obviously got the elements of a really fantastic, inspiring speech ready to go. Let the invitations start rolling in! But, send them to the lazy river or swim-up bar at this Puerto Rican resort. That’s where I’ll be “networking” between conference sessions.